Something For You

This is something that I found when I was looking around TM web site and thought I would post it for those of us that this will bring back memories for and for the rest of you its just funny and true.
O and you just need to put "You might be a Maniac If..." in front of it.

1. You name your pets after your trips. 2. You look for then add Garden Valley to every map. 3. Everything you do reminds you of GV. 4. You make Ron Luce a household name. 5. You are more comfortable on the floor then on the bed. 6. You kiss your air conditioner and hot water tank. 7. When customs officials give you weird looks when they see your passport and you smile. 8. You compare everything to TM. 9. You get more mail and e-mail then your parents. 10. You think money is a foreign object. 11. You are board when you get home because you can’t do drama. 12. Your friends can do the entire life cycle scene or all of Ragman from just watching you. 13. You consider sleep an unknown substance. 14. You carry enough duct tape and gaft tape to wrap a house. 15. you have more friends out of state or country then at home. 16. You are most wanted by every demon in Hell. 17. Every Satanic person on the planet hates your guts. 18. You have spent so much on trips that you could have bought a country. 19. You always have to know a lights out time. 20. Your plane ticket to GV was more expensive then your trip. 21. Your address book is bigger then a Webster. 22. You have more friends then the neighborhood stray. 23. You can say “Hi” in 15 different languages. 24. It takes you 10 minutes to scroll through your e-mail address book. 25. You consider the domes a 4 star hotel and the longhouses a 5. 26. You consider Cloud’s sandwiches fancy dinning. 27. You consider airports your second home. 28. You can unpack and set up a sound box in 58.9 seconds.’ 29. You consider working at “the beach” a good thing. 30. You are shocked to see white socks. 31. You can find the ingredients, make, and eat 2 PB&J in 30 seconds or less. 32. You consider white clothes a good thing. 33. You have four categories of clothes: winter, summer, dress, and drama. 34. You consider soap a luxury. 35. “Sliced bread” is not considered food. 36. Your nightmares consist of monster piles of luggage and drama. 37. You can pack everything you need for two weeks in a standard carry on. 38. Your insurance company refuses to cover you as a minor even though you are only 14. 39. When people talk about BVD underwear you start to panic. 40. When you get home you shower everyday just because you can. 41. You dream old dramas. 42. You want to scream in terror when you hear the words Bon Voyage. 43. You know how to say good-bye 90 different ways. 44. You can quote the safety instructions on airplane flights in all the major languages. 45. You are able to sleep comfortably anywhere. 46. You consider BV a curse word. 47. You think of words that describe you that start with the first letter of your first name just to get a head start on the next years team games. 48. You suggest ameba, or knight, rider, prince as games at every youth gathering. 49. You are terrified of full contact paper, rock, scissors. 50. You begin to miss but at the same time abhor red dirt and chiggers. 51. The smell of the septic tanks brings back memories. 52. Ridding in pick up beds and on trailers brings back fond memories. 53. You dread carrying the sound box. 54. Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches are your second worst enemy. 55. Fire ants and other critters are your sworn enemies. 56. Water is your best friend. 57. Once you have carried the sound box ten blocks in Mexico you are considered the trip’s strongest person. 58. You love climbing the racks at “the beach.” 59. After a trip every guy is “Fireproof.” 60. Girls become so used to guys being gentlemen they run into doors because there is no one to open the door. 61. You learn to sprint from drama world (the highlands) before you get drenched. 62. You can do ministry in pouring rain. 63. You can do drama when your brain is disconnected from your body. 64. You do your part better when you are sick instead of well. 65. You hate carrying picnic tables. 66. You can stack picnic tables three high in 1 minute or less so you can do drama training. 67. You think school bus rides were invented by Satan. 68. You think 8 counts are from Satan. 69. Your watch is a true survivor. 70. You despise gravel with a passion. 71. You can latterly live two weeks with out doing laundry. 72. You have a love/hate relationship with Tiki torches. 73. Casting is for the well coordinated. 74. You hope that the drama costumes look halfway decent. 75. You can only count to 8 not 10. 76. You can count to 8 in every language in existence and some that don’t. 77. You realize big fans are “cool.” 78. You realize the big fans are the world’s greatest drier. 79. The funny smell is probably you not your neighbor. 80. The ETAC course you know better then you own backyard. 81. The nurses have your information memorized. 82. If you have something white that you want to stay white, don’t wear it. 83. You insist your water be purified and your ice has holes in it. 84. Duffle bags never seem to be large enough. 85. There are never enough pens or cards for ministry. 86. You have permanent shin splints from the power scene. 87. You have currency from almost every country. 88. The bruises on your thighs seem to get bigger each pleasure scene. 89. Jason’s Deli is considered healthy. 90. You prefer sleeping in a sleeping bag and mosquito netting then in sheets and a blanket. 91. You get to eat hot, fruit soup for breakfast in the morning. 92. You ‘ve been hit on or a friend of yours has been hit on by somebody of the same sex. 93. Bourbon St. has a whole new meaning. 94. Your address list is longer than your parents. 95. Your accommodations in country have more bugs and foreign critters then people. 96. You like the rain instead of the showers. 97. You despise PB&J and avoid it like the plague. 98. At youth sleep overs you yell” Lights out mean mouths shut!” 99. You see animals running around the yard in the morning and have it for lunch. 100. You know what “raindrop” is. 101. You have acronyms for everything. 102. You can live in the same clothes for two weeks without bathing more than once. 103. You can wash and shave your legs in the water faucets beside the shower house. 104. You go through more spiritual warfare away from home than at home. 105. Everything at home reminds you of Teen Mania or missions. 106. Your shoes and clothes never loose the red dirt stain. 107. Drama sounds better then E.S.O.A.L or Gauntlet week. (That is for all the interns.) 108. You consider making PB&J a curse. 109. Your friends think that you have been taken by aliens and replaced. 110. You have logged more hours then most pilots. 111. Your family wants you to stop hogging the computer. 112. Your friends’ nickname for you is “insane.’ 113. You can go three days with only about 16 hours of sleep. 114. You dream about red dirt. 115. You have memorized the TM campus, Maniac Oath, and Honor Code. 116. You know more interns then your friends do. 117. You dread fire drills. 118. Your calves have tripled in size. 119. You consider a walkie-talkie and cell phone black leashes. 120. You know everybody who works in the clinic. 121. You hope you don’t get aroused in the middle of the night. 122. You get homesick at home. 123. Your friends can do the doctor or chicken skit completely through with out any mistakes just from watching you. 124. You are more at home on the field then at home. 125. You go to ATF so you can see your friends because you can’t wait a year to see them again. 126. You custom decorate your room with TM pictures only. 127. You beg your parents to let you sleep in the mosquito just one more night, six months later. 128. AAA has a whole new meaning. 129. You tell everybody to avoid the AAA trucks at all cost. 130. You think of ways to get rid of the AAA trucks. 131. The thought of going face to face with Satan excites you. 132. Staring down a witch doctor in Africa or Central America is fun. 133. You put your geography teacher to shame. 134. You are banned from wearing anything TM related at school. 135. Cupid reminds you of the Cloud’s truck. 136. “Refers” are no longer a bad thing. 137. You have a reserved bed every year. 138. Every intern knows you by name. 139. You are a personal friend of all the staff. 140. You navigate the back 40 better then your own house. 141. You know every intern in every promotional thing TM puts out. 142. If you are on campus you are always on call to find anybody who gets lost. 143. You know more four-digit numbers then your entire family and all your friends combine. 144. You carry a complete first aid kit, with chigger killer, with you at all times. 145. You can do drama make up in five seconds flat. 146. You can wrap a sprain properly in ten flat. 147. You thank God everyday for carbonation and caffeine because you use it to stay a wake in the summer. 148. You amuse yourself by thinking of new pleasure costume combinations. 149. You look forward to rubber band wars at the “sandpit.” 150. You know the two definitions of “sandpit.” 151. You are more comfortable on an open trailer hooked to a tractor then in a car. 152. You request graveyard and airport runs. 153. Your rep. knows all your information before they have talked to you once. 154. You are described as “invincible and unshakeable” 15 different ways in the same conversation. 155. You always have a flashlight, a jacket, your Bible, water, raingear, first aid kit, pens, and paper with you at all times. 156. You consider a name badge as an acceptable form of legal I.D. 157. You carry bug spray and sunscreen everywhere. 158. TM staff and interns know you better then your family. 159. Your nickname is “missions magnet.” 160. You lost track of how many countries you have been to. 161. Customs officials know you by name. 162. James Bond has traveled less then you have. 163. School is foreign; airports are not. 164. Every security official in every country you are on a first name bases with. 165. The Red Cross has black balled you from giving blood or plasma. 166. You can solo sing every drama and dance routine. 167. You play music to an 8 count. 168. You 8 count a basketball game. 169. Ted Turner has spent less money then you have. 170. You can quote the tribal dance word for word. 171. You never ask what is in your food. 172. You use the phrase ”Are we there yet?” in your regular vocabulary. 173. You and your friends do Ragman with music in the local mall. 174. Wal-Mart employees know you by name. 175. You know more famous people then your friends. 176. You have made the word “blocking” mean a whole new thing. 177. Your missions’ budget is bigger than your clothes budget. 178. Your enemies tremble at the mention of your name. 179. Every Satanist wants your head. 180. You have withdrawal symptoms when you are away from TM for more than a week. 181. Brick columns are a standard of safety. 182. You do not look for the bright light at the end of the tunnel, because you broke out of the tunnel and became the light. 183. You drive on gravel, mud, and in the woods better then on pavement. 184. The word “gator” has new meaning. 185. You own your own gator. 186. You can hog tie or mummy wrap a person with duct tape in 20 seconds. 187. You know more first aid then a doctor. 188. You learn to tolerate cold showers. 189. You can do drama or dance in your sleep. 190. Cafeteria food sounds appealing. 191. You can fix drama costumes on the way to the site without a mistake or poking the person with the needle. 192. Bushes give you flashbacks. 193. Dare 2 Share lets you promote TM trips. 194. You miss red dirt. 195. You eat weird things and don’t flinch. 196. Fear Factor and Survivor will not let you on the show because you will win. 197. The lost are drawn to you like months to light. 198. Your English teacher begs you to not write about something missions related. 199. Religious people dread the sight of you and cringe at the sound of your name. 200. You keep your three-minute testimony on a cue card. 201. You miss tiki torches. 202. You can shower and shave in under five minutes. 203. You learn more card games at TM then at home. 204. “ATF” has new meaning. 205. You can quote the training manual. 206. You dread multiple phone lines. 207. You can tap into TM’s website from anywhere in the world. 208. You learn to enjoy the uplifting “friendship bubble.” 209. When you buy clothes you ask yourself ”What will this look like in orange?” 210. As a guy, you wonder why girls are shocked when you open the door for them. 211. You know both meanings of “C.A.” 212. Duct tape can be used as a medical tool. 213. It’s not a trip if there is no lay over. 214. The shower house is cleaner than you. 215. After the shower the house is then dirtier then you. 216. You cannot see the difference between the ground outside and the shower house floor. 217. You kiss the pavement when you get home. 218. Your car is permanently stained with a red tint. 219. You know the extension for every staff member. 220. You spend more time walking then sitting. 221. You don’t ever want to use crutches or be on a backboard. 222. You can wrap a sprained ankle in duct tape securely enough for it to last until you get to the clinic. 223. You can say what kind of music every intern likes. 224. On graveyard you see more animals then people. 225. On and off the field you only do same gender back rubs. 226. You are nauseated by the look and thought of Port-a-Potties. 227. You can walk the same section for 10 hours and never get board. 228. “Board “ and “dull” cease to exist in your normal vocabulary. 229. You pack enough batteries to power a car. 230. Your walkie-talkie becomes a part of you. 231. You gain a new appreciation for food. 232. Your job is not separate from you. 233. “Lunch” is a good word. 234. You anxiously await the phrase ”Let’s eat.” 235. You do not like the taste of Texas water. 236. Fast food joints hate you because you order in another language just for fun. 237. You relive all day training times. 238. You find ways to stay at GV as long as you can. 239. You know people who can get you a hot, fresh cappuccino during your shift. 240. You can identify at least 33 species of critters. 241. You look for ideas for team and MAG names. 242. You can rewire electrical wires or sound equipment to make it work. 243. If you have ever forgotten you “shovel prop.” 244. You think your walkie-talkie is alive. 245. You help advertise sunscreen, bug spray, and luggage. 246. You have a lifetime supply of airline salt and pepper. 247. You dream the instructions of how to open the emergency exist on a plane. 248. You call spiders your eight legged friends and know where all the webs are. 249. You can quote your calling card number because you call your friends so much. 250. “HA” has new meaning. 251. “Extreme” has given you a whole new outlook on life. 252. You prefer a ropes course to driving. 253. You have adopted enough four-legged friends to compete with the population of China. 254. Dorm means dropped off run over man. 255. A dorm is better then an apartment. 256. Living on a bus for nine months sounds fun. 257. “SAC” does not mean your bed. 258. You can decode any GE map because you have memorized the campus. 259. GE asks you to help make the maps. 260. You find out what the pool looks like with red food coloring in the water just because you wanted to know. 261. You make your shoes out of gaft tape and clothes out of duct tape. 262. Your essentials to live are Bible, duct tape, gaft tape, and caffeine. 263. You hope that the government won’t detain you because you travel so much. 264. You live out of a duffle bag. 265. Needles can’t puncture your skin because it got so hard from traveling. 266. You friends think you are a secret agent. 267. You are comfortable using anything you can when nature calls. 268. If you smell something burning in the cafeteria you don’t ask what it is. 269. Every time you see the mystery casserole you go out to eat. 270. You hear the words: “Carl’s” and/ or “Jr.” you instantly say “Can I come?” 271. You eat pizza and/ or Ramen noodles at least twice a week. 272. You miss the flies. 273. The employees at Dinner Bell know you by name. 274. In introductions you ask” Are you a missionary?” 275. You ask people older then yourself if they are on staff or are interns. 276. When you buy clothes you ask” Can I sleep in this?” 277. You make Teen Mania lingo a second language. 278. You hate that Teen Mania language is not considered an official language. 279. You request that your teacher give a GE pop quiz in class. 280. All beverages left overnight in a longhouse will be ice cold in the morning. 281. You miss power and pleasure sticks. 282. You don’t ever ask what the ingredients are. 283. You can always smell red dirt. 284. One shower in a row will not get you clean. 285. If the sight of seeing girls in 2 piece bathing suits makes you sick. 286. If you consider Wal-Mart a night on the town. 287. If you have friends in all 50 states and several countries. 288. More than ½ your friends don’t speak English. 289. Most of your friends, who speak English, do it as their second language. 290. Many people know who you are, but not your real name. 291. Personal showers make you scream in terror. 292. Privacy is a foreign concept. 293. Sleep is defined as “wiped from your memory.” 294. You dream in red. 295. You have more chigger bites than you do body. 296. “Shut up” is not allowed. 297. You mail stuff to yourself. 298. Fro more power on trips batteries are not included. 299. You answer all the questions security asks before they ask them. 300. You answer your phone at home like you do at TM, even if you just say it in your mind. 301. All TM security knows you personally. 302. You consider a trip anywhere but the airport a treat. 303. Carl’s jr. is liked a lot but not obtained often. 304. You can live off fruit and caffeine 305. You miss your job. 306. You miss doing your part in the drama. 307. You miss phones ringing. 308. You crave canned vegetables served cold. 309. You have nightmares of cold food. 310. You hate cold cereal. 311. You make paper radios when at home just for the memories. 312. You make up radio calls just to stay in practice. 313. The site of grass makes you want to kiss it, but you don’t for fear of chiggers. 314. Red dirt makes you nauseous. 315. Popcorn is a good thing. 316. You loathe Excel. 317. You are a wiz at MS Office. 318. You use tiki torches as wind chimes. 319. You try to use drama as a foreign language. 320. You dream in drama. 321. You try to use the 8 count as a foreign language. 322. You drama in 8 count. 323. Your nickname for the AAA truck is the poop-poo truck. 324. You wonder why there are more channels then CNN when you get home. 325. You can navigate the entire campus in the dark. 326. You list caffeine and sugar as major food groups. 327. Your first aid kit includes an IV of straight caffeine and a 5lb. Bag of liquid sugar. 328. You can use hair for dental floss. 329. You can name everything on loop 323. 330. Your parents phone bill is larger then their house payment. 331. Your second language will be English when you come back home, hopefully. 332. You can get three months worth of medication at one doctor’s appointment. 333. When a Big Mac is fine dinning food to you. 334. Mystery meats are ok to you. Note: Don’t ask what the mystery is. 335. You learn which states say soda, coke, and pop. 336. Sharing war stories has a whole new meaning. 337. More interns know you then you know interns. 338. The interns keep a complete bio file for you on permanent record for interns and staff only. 339. You can go from your room to the front in about 10min. flat. 340. You can turn off somebody else’s alarm without waking them. 341. When you have memorized the complete dorm assignment list and all the dorm extensions. 342. You can hide on campus and even dogs can’t find you. 343. The smell of bathroom air fresheners makes you sick. 344. Cheap entertainment is quadruple the normal price. 345. you get more homework then you do in a school year. 346. When your Spanish teacher speaks to you ask her which dialect she would like the response. 347. You have the best praise and worship in the shower house. 348. Wal-Mart is your third home. 349. Your parents wonder who they will be picking up at the airport because they heard God changed you…again. 350. Or they think you brought home more friends. 351. You can live a year off Ramen noodles or rice and beef bullion. 352. You can live out of a suitcase (duffle bag) then forget to switch back to your dresser when you get back home. 353. You hope that the inventor of the Port-a-Potties has a death wish. 354. You miss fountain drinks. 355. You know so many interns you start to act like them. 356. You know people for a week and discover that you think a like on most things. 357. You remember when luggage world was gravel. 358. You use and see so much duct tape and gaft tape you dream about it. 359. You scare your rep. because you know them better than they know you. 360. You become a mind reader of all staff and interns. 361. You think of creative ways of getting out of the dorms during fire drills. 362. Sleep is valued higher than gold or diamonds. 363. You have a drawer full of just drama costumes. 364. You put missions as a job on your résumé. 365. You scream in joy when you see white because you thought it had been banished from the planet. 366. A water container is standard issue when you leave home. 367. You put TM as your alternate address. 368. Your cell phone and pager have international capabilities. 369. You have an unexplainable fear of big, white tents. 370. You are horrified of wooden picnic tables. 371. You screech in delight when you can adjust the hot and cold. 372. Clean feet are considered a luxury. 373. You can find a deal anywhere. 374. You put other missionary friends as your next of kin on your emergency contact list. 375. You find the most unusual ways of doing fundraisers and they work. 376. TV is a sin on the mission field. 377. The nearest thing to a movie is your Bible. 378. All the airport employees are on a first name basses with you. 379. You can give directions around DFW better than the employees. 380. You make the words Teen Mania recognized in every country of the world. 381. You can identify TM from the air. 382. You are more comfortable in turbulence than on a smooth road. 383. You know all of TM’s protocols. 384. The people from YWAM think you never leave TM. 385. You are always welcome in the Luce or Hasz house. 386. You can identify the TM cars by the sound of their engine. 387. The charter bus drivers know you personally. 388. Airplanes are your preferred method of travel. 389. You take home samples of red dirt. 390. Your school officials fear your influence on and off campus. 391. You miss the taste of Texas water. 392. You miss peanut butter and jelly. 393. You keep your old airline tickets in your s**** book. 394. You miss not having grass. 395. You miss working. 396. You keep your old name badges. 397. You can make a toy out of anything. 398. The thought of not going on a trip over the summer horrifies you and gives you nightmares. 399. You speak completely in acronyms.

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Alex